


Lifeless Womb

by Winchester_girl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 02:45:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2252976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester_girl/pseuds/Winchester_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angsty. </p><p>~Spoiler Alert for people who don't like descriptive summaries~ </p><p>You and Dean are having a baby. You found out you're just few weeks in. Dean get angry at first, storming off but he returns and tells you he couldn't be happier. Life is perfect until you wake up in bed, one night, in a puddle of blood, which freaks you out. Dean rushes you to the hospital where they later find out she has lost the baby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lifeless Womb

You switched your positions in the bed like there were needles poking you under. Your heart pounded to your chest rather slowly, just enough for you to feel the flow of the blood through your veins. Your body temperature had gone up, making you sweat like a cat in a Chinese restaurant. You pulled yourself out of the covers to see if your body would stop freaking out and just let you sleep for the big day tomorrow. You were getting really nervous and had to get out of the bed and just walk to relieve your stress. You had decided to drag yourself to the kitchen and drink some water that might help bring your body down to homeostasis. You gulped down two glasses of water and felt arms crawl across your waist from behind. 

“What’s the matter, babe?” you heard Dean say in a sleepy voice. His tone was deep and you could feel his breath on your neck as he held his head on your shoulders. 

“Oh, it’s nothing, Dean! I’m just worried about my checkup tomorrow with the doc.” you didn’t lie to him but you didn’t tell him the whole truth either. You just wanted tomorrow to be over so you could tell your boyfriend why exactly you weren’t able to sleep comfortably in his bed. 

“Why are you going to the doctor’s again?” his eyes were trying to adjust themselves to the light in the kitchen. He had been busy when you had told him about your appointment and it didn’t register in him to ask you why, in all the papers lying around the library and with Sam trying to argue that he was fine after the trials. 

“Oh, you know, I’m turning (Y/age) in couple of months and I thought it’d be a good idea to get my body checked.” You turned to face him as his grip on your waist loosened for you to flexibly move in his arms. 

“I can check your body for you if you want.” he smirked and even in just partial consciousness, he managed to hold on to his title of being the biggest flirt. He pressed you against him while your hands explored his short, brown hair. You lifted yourself on your toes to gently press your lips against his. A warm sensation shivered down your body and you wanted more of him. You wanted him to grind against you and make you his while he made love to you, but the nervousness of going to the doctor’s to confirm your doubts about your morning sickness and the delay in your periods wasn’t helping. 

“You sure you don’t want me to come with?” He asked in all seriousness when you pulled away. 

“I’ll be fine, but aren’t you and Sam heading out to meet Cas tomorrow?” You remembered the phone call that Dean had received from Cas to meet him in Kentucky to investigate how angels were handling the fall. 

“Yeah, but baby if you need me here, I’ll stay.” He pulled you closer and pecked your forehead. You couldn’t help but smile and rest your head on his chest while his arms wrapped around you. 

“I don’t think anyone will dare mess with me. They don’t need Dean Winchester on their asses for the rest of their lives, now do they?” you laughed, gaining a chuckle from him.

“Nope they don’t. Now let’s get you to bed.” He yawned and locked his fingers with yours and lead you to your bedroom. 

The next day, Dean had woken up early to pack up and leave for Kentucky with Sam. He had stopped by the bed, before leaving, to glance at you. He wanted to say goodbye but he couldn’t muster the strength to wake you up. You looked so peaceful and it would have been cruel for him to wake you up, especially when he knew you couldn’t sleep last night. You thought he wouldn’t notice every single thing you did, but he was raised in a hunter family and noticing the details was what kept him and his brother alive. He knew something was going on with you but he wanted you to tell him, instead of pulling it out of your gut forcefully. He had leaned towards you and kissed you on your forehead while you cooed in your sleep. He tucked your hair behind your ears and smiled at the innocent face that laid on his bed, before leaving you alone in the comfort of his room. 

You turned to Dean’s side of the bed and felt emptiness when you extended your arm to cuddle with him. You opened your eyes and sighed remembering his plans for today. You wanted him to stay but you couldn’t be selfish to Cas, who needed him more than you did. You got up and walked to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee and found a sticky note on the coffee machine.

_Babe,_

_Call me after your visit._

_Love,_

_Dean_

You smiled at the note before starting the hot pot of coffee to jumpstart your morning. Dean knew what the first thing you did every morning and that had made your day before it even began. You had hopped into the hot shower to get ready for the doctor’s appointment.

After waiting for an hour in the waiting room, you had finally gotten to see the doctor. You had told her about your concerns and the morning sickness you had been having and that your period wasn’t on time this month. She had asked you to pee in a cup so that they could test for pregnancy and also for vaginal infections. You were very nervous about the whole situation. You didn’t know how Dean would react if the pregnancy test came positive. He already had Sam and Cas to worry about and he did not need a child in his life to make matters complicated. 

You saw a nurse walking towards you with an envelope in her hand. Your heart had started racing and your mind had stopped thinking.

“Miss (Y/L/N)? The doctor would like to see you.” you followed the nurse to the doctor’s office. 

“Miss (Y/L/N), come have a seat.” the doctor pointed at the chair in front of her desk and you sat down. 

“Do I have something to worry about doc?” You asked with your heart in your mouth. 

“Miss (Y/L/N) the good news is, you do not have any vaginal infections. But there’s more. You’re 5 weeks in with your pregnancy.” Your fear had come true. You stayed unmoved in awe as the scenarios of raising a child in a hunter family came to your mind. You didn’t know what you wanted to say or do. 

“Miss (Y/L/N), have you thought about considering other options?” she asked reading your expression of misery on hearing the news. 

“No, I need to go…” you said dumbfounded as you walked out of the office without hearing what she had to say next. You weren’t going to abort the baby, neither were you thinking of giving it up for adoption. You just needed to talk to Dean about this before jumping onto any decisions. Even though Dean had asked you to call him, you wanted to wait for him to get home before you broke the news to him. 

When the boys returned home, they were having a rough day. The angels had started turning on each other and Sam had a disagreement with Dean regarding what they were going to do to fix the problem. Dean had argued to let the angels be and not interfere with their business while Sam wanted to get between the two angelic groups to fix it. Dean had advised Sam to stay out of it because… well because angels were big back of dicks and didn’t hesitate to kill anybody that came in their way. 

Dean had sat down on the couch in the hall of the bunker with a beer while Sam had decided to stay in his bedroom. You were scared to approach Dean but you did it anyway. 

“Hey” You kept it short and simple as you sat down next to him. 

“Hey! How did the visit go?” He turned to you while sipping his beer and surfed all the channels on the TV. 

“About that, Dean, I need to tell you something.” he turned off the TV and placed his beer bottle on the table to give you his undivided attention. You didn’t know how to say it. The palms of your hands were sweaty and they moved against each other in no particular movement. The nervousness was intense with the air filled with tension. You couldn’t muster your strength to look into your boyfriend’s green eyes.

“I’m 5 weeks pregnant.” You said it. You felt better already and you looked up to catch a glimpse of Dean but all you saw was an expressionless human being sitting in front of you. Before you could say anything else, he stood up and headed towards the door. 

“I need some air.” he said. You weren’t surprised at all. In fact that’s exactly what you wanted to do or did in the doctor’s office. Run. Run away from the truth instead of accepting the fact that this was your life now. 

You had woken up next morning to an empty bed again. You had no idea where Dean had been the entire night after he had just found out that he was going to be a father. You knew Dean never wanted to have kids, partly because he didn’t want his kids growing up in a hunter life like he and Sam did but mostly because he was scared of becoming like his father. You stayed in the bed for couple of minutes thinking about what Dean was planning to do with the baby. You wanted to keep it even though it might hate you for the rest of it’s life for giving it a terrible lifestyle as a hunter but as a mother you could never separate your child from yourself. You had decided to put everything behind and start fresh. You got up and made yourself a cup of coffee while thinking of what you wanted to make for breakfast. Pancakes—you thought. 

You stretched your body to get the pancake flour out of the topmost shelve when you felt a body press against yours from behind and a hand wriggled up your arm and reached out for the flour packet you were looking for. You turned to catch a glimpse of the person who had you locked between the kitchen counter and himself. 

“Dean?” you were surprised to see Dean after what had happened last night. 

“(Y/N), I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I was being a dick last night and I shouldn’t have left you alone.” He said, placing the flour packet on the kitchen counter. He sincerely regretted his actions from the day before and you could see the guilt in his eyes. You wrapped your arms around his neck, taking him by surprise, and lifted yourself on your toes to match his height, before locking your lips with his. He tightened his grip on your back, making you feel like you were getting a massage in a spa.

“I know how you feel and I’m not mad. I just wish you’d tell me what you feel” you pulled away and smiled at him. 

“You know what I feel? I feel like I would be the best Goddamn father to this baby.” he smirked as he held on of his hands on your belly while the other held on to your waist. You laughed and leaned up to kiss him once more. 

It had been 4 months since you found out about the baby and your life so far was going extremely well. Dean had gone soft over the weeks. He would take care of you like you were his kid—God, that turned you on beyond belief. He would also make you dinner occasionally and sat with you with a box of kleenex’s for when you cried during an emotional movie just because of your hormonal changes. You had also made him go to a pregnancy yoga class, which he wasn’t very excited for at first, but loved it so much that he insisted you to continue them just because he wanted to sit behind you and caress your protruded belly while you stretched yourself gently. You never knew you and Dean could be this happy about the baby until one day when everything went downhill. 

You had felt uneasy in your bed and you tried to shake it off by switching positions. You felt wetness between your legs and assumed that you were having wet dreams due to the lack of sex in the past couple of weeks. Your laziness was pulling you down to sleep, even though you wanted to check what was bothering you. The gooey stuff was sticky and also made weird noises when you turned around and it had gotten unbearable. You got up to inspect what it was and screamed out in agony on seeing blood all over your covers. Blood never bothered you but the fear that something was wrong with you baby was killing you. Dean had woken up abruptly upon hearing your screech. He saw the puddle of blood on the bed and tried to calm you down even though he himself was scared. Sam had stomped the door to your room when he heard you scream. He thought someone was out to get you. 

“Sammy, call 911” Dean’s eyes widened upon seeing so much blood on the bed. You on the other hand were straight on freaking out and had started crying for not knowing what was happening. It was mostly hormonal. 

 

Dean had gotten off the bed and carried you in his arms out the bunker, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. You were taken to the emergency room where you were tested for what had gone wrong with your vagina. The ER doctor had informed you that you no longer had the baby. The possible reasons they gave you were stress, overworking your body and bacterial vaginosis. You felt the worst pain in your heart. No other physical or emotional pain was more powerful than the one that came from losing a life that had been growing inside of you for 5 months. It was the most powerful evidence of yours and Dean’s love. Losing the one thing that made yours and Dean’s love stronger had broken you. You sat on the ER bed and time had stopped. You couldn’t see people moving around you anymore or Sam and Dean talking to you. All you could see was that you were sited in a white room without an exit and blood had started dripping down those perfectly painted white walls. You felt trapped and cried out for help but no one heard you. 

“(Y/N)!” Dean called, zapping you out of your hallucinations. You looked at him—eyes filled with pain. He felt more pain seeing you devastated. He pulled you into a hug and kissed your cheeks. 

“It’s all going to be okay baby. It wasn’t your fault.” he tried to calm you down but it only made your start sobbing uncontrollably. 

“Hey, Hey, Hey…” He stroked your hair ever so gently, feeling all the pain that you did, “We’ll try again sweetheart.” is all he said before getting you cleaned up and taking you home. 

He took you to the room you used to own before moving into his room and tucked you into the bed while he laid down with you. He pulled you into his embrace while you used his chest as your pillow. You still couldn’t stop crying and Dean couldn’t see you like that anymore. After you had drifted off to sleep in his arms, he had prayed to Ezekiel. The angel in Sam’s body had come forth upon hearing his prayers. 

“I want you to erase her memory.” He said in a stern voice as a tear dropped out of his right eye. 


End file.
